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Our Spirit Will Not Be Broken: Voices from the April StormsOur Spirit Will Not Be Broken: Voices from the April Storms

Open to Closure
by Cynthia Anointediva Kelley-Lankford, March, 2012

The questions that seem to rule my everyday thoughts
Remain unanswered
Much like the direction of the wind
Open-ended but desiring closure
A period. An ending.
But, not a good-bye

Good-bye means turning my back
Never returning to the same place
To that instance in time that’s no longer recognizable by sight
I’m not ready for that
Good-bye is too final

Am I dreaming?
A pinch does nothing but deepen the bruise to this already battered soul
So please don’t try to wake me
My rest is interrupted by the repeating images passing through my mind
To be held close while I silently scream inside
Sometimes relieves me of nothing
So I don’t know which is better, being asleep or awake

Time will do its best to bring the healing my soul so earnestly needs
As it redefines the black and white reruns I leave behind
Filling these hollow spaces with something tangible
Something other than red clay filler dirt, sawdust and roof shingles

I pray for the storm inside of me to cease its rage
And I stop chasing its eye before I’m taken up in its twist
Peace will come, I believe
My mind hopes so
My heart says yes, it’s true, peace will come
Maybe by then my questions
Will be answered

I remain in this place
Surrendered to all that Hosana is willing to give to me
To dry my tears
Stand me upright and color my soul